Spring Breakers BASHED BY COSMO

Cosmopolitan writer has BASHED Selena Gomez‘s critically acclaimed film Spring Breakers. Director Harmony Korine is known for his cray-cray druggy art-house films, and Spring Breakers is no different. Unfortunately.

(Warning: Spoilers ahead..) I can’t imagine what it must be like to grow up like Vanessa Hudgens or Selena Gomez, where you are forced to be a Role Model to Girls Everywhere not by choice, but because your big break turned you into the kind of star who is expected to stand up for all things pure and sweet and feminine.

Can you blame them for wanting to shed that label like a winter coat and take a f*****g vacation? What twentysomething girl wouldn’t want to let loose on spring break?

‘Harmony told me that it was going to be freeing,’ Ashley Benson said, according to the production notes for the film, and any girl who has ever tried to Find Herself knows that nothing is more intoxicating than freedom.

The movie has more bongs, beer bongs, and bare breasts than any college frat party I’ve ever been to, but you could argue that there is more than a whisper of truth to this gritty excess, even when the images are uncomfortable:

A girl passed out on the floor next to a toilet filled with vomit; a lead actress writhing on the floor, soaked in beer, teasingly removing her bikini top as she slurs in a sing-song voice to the male partygoers next to her that they will never get her p***y.

UPDATED with Spring Breakers clips under!

But whatever to all of that. Spring Breakers, at 90-ish minutes, is two-thirds Girls Gone Wild-debauchery, and that is the stomach-able part. The last 30 minutes are gratuitously violent, an orgy (literally) of guns tossed around like the toys the ensemble cast used to rob a chicken shack at the movie’s onset. In matching bathing suits (there is lots of matching happening toward the end of the film, which tries very hard to be a music video) the lead actresses dance in front of a glowing Florida sunset, twirling semi-automatic riffles like batons to a Britney Spears song. (Seriously. There are two Britney songs in the movie.) Then, for reasons the movie will make you care very little about, the actresses bust into a Florida mansion and shoot everyone in it and drive away in a convertible.

As the movie climaxes, these scenes of pretty actresses in neon bikinis expertly blowing peoples’ brains out are interspersed with scenes of them looking weary and calling their moms. “I want to be a good person,” Hudgens’ character says to a voicemail. “I want to do better.” Maybe these side-by-side sequences are supposed to feel powerful, to represent the struggle we face to figure out who we are. Instead, they fall flat—so pat and stupid, like the emotionally-stunted conclusion to every LiveJournal post any of us ever wrote when we were 19.

The movie was so crappy that I started to wonder if the problem was me. Would the movie seem more likeable if the leads were male? Would it seem more entertaining—and cool, even—if Justin Bieber or Daniel Radcliffe or Zac Efron were wearing the ski masks? Taking it one step further: Should I celebrate that these roles were written for women, and give Korine a big feminist-fist-bump because—in one particularly violent scene—Vanessa Hudgens gets to burst into a diner with a squirt gun and yell like a lunatic to “get on your fucking knees?” Am I projecting my own feelings on how these starlets, who I’ve grown up rooting for, should act?

Korine will say that I am passing moral judgments on the characters when he did no such thing, to paraphrase the defense he used when his best-known film Kids was released to swarms of controversy in 1995. But there is blood on his hands. In the production notes, Korine explains: “Everyone is familiar with Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens because they have this specific image. It’s really fun for me to push them into some kind of other reality, something more sinister and insane.”

I’m not saying, exactly, that these actresses were used. I get why they wanted to make this movie.

While watching, I kept thinking about this time in college when a video leaked of a freshman girl, naked, playfully making sexual comments into a camera as a group of athletes filmed her. The guys edited the video into a montage with music and a title slide. They meant to send it just to the lacrosse team, but in a heartbeat the whole campus saw it. Mortifying. She transferred.

All twentysomething girls deserve moments of freedom. But how sad, sad, sad when they are caught on film.

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  • Anonymous

    Mar 14, 2013 @ 08:46 am
    Anonymous said:
    I feel opposite to it. Now I really want to see it! See if she was PMS-ing when she was watching it and if its actually a big deal like she’s making it seem.

  • Jinxx.

    Mar 14, 2013 @ 08:43 am
    Anonymous said:
    Told you this was a bad move for Selena this was not the right scrip how you are going to grow when you start to pick crappy movies? First the director seems like he is stock in his teenage years, and acts like a kid and his film are not run by him he is more like do what you want and let’s see what comes up, that’s bad directing, it seemed more to me he wanted to exploit disney girls and used them and Selena and her mom were so dumb and stupid they felt for it
    —-
    “do what you want and see what comes up, that’s bad directing”

    am I crazy for disagreeing with this? I think that’s great directing, actually.. cause then the scene seems more natural rather than robotic which is what an actor/actress should always aim for when shooting.
    I’m no expert but that’s my take on it, anyway.

  • Anonymous

    This movie is stupid no matter how Selena and her fans try to make excuses for it this movie seems really crappy this movie seems like a teenager wrote not an adult but hey look who directing it a man who still think he is 15

  • Anonymous

    BURN!!!!! HAHAHAHA

  • Anonymous

    Mar 14, 2013 @ 08:47 am
    Jinxx. said:
    Mar 14, 2013 @ 08:43 am
    Anonymous said:
    Told you this was a bad move for Selena this was not the right scrip how you are going to grow when you start to pick crappy movies? First the director seems like he is stock in his teenage years, and acts like a kid and his film are not run by him he is more like do what you want and let’s see what comes up, that’s bad directing, it seemed more to me he wanted to exploit disney girls and used them and Selena and her mom were so dumb and stupid they felt for it
    —-
    “do what you want and see what comes up, that’s bad directing”

    am I crazy for disagreeing with this? I think that’s great directing, actually.. cause then the scene seems more natural rather than robotic which is what an actor/actress should always aim for when shooting.
    I’m no expert but that’s my take on it, anyway.
    ————
    Nooo that’s not directing a real director does his job by letting the actor know exactly what he wants out off his film the director to this movie seems very ignorant on how to direct actors a good film the directors knows what they want and let’s the actor know how intense he wants the part to go and to wear that why is called directing this director seems clueless on how to direct actors he doesn’t seem experience enought to tell an actor exactly what he wants which makes him a bad director

  • Anonymous

    The movie,the script it all looks terrible from what I have seen

  • Anonymous

    oh god get that stick out of your ass cosmo. lol have you guys seen their “how to orgasm” articles on the cover?? please, this movie is not meant to be literal or serious! its crazy shit SOME crazy fucking kids do, the ones who end up dead or in jail or on the street. come on its a movie!! but I get it. its too crazy for the disney girls huh? disney is a prostitution ring. get over it ppl!!

  • Anonymous

    glad im not the only one that thought the movie looked fucking stupid

  • Anonymous

    oh and I love harmony! fuck all you brainless fucks! go run and put on your disney channel movies! corporation loving fucks!! lol brainwashed much??

  • Anonymous

    I’m from Italy and I already saw the movie and It’s crap, the story is bad, the directing and specially the actresses. I really wanted to liked it but it’s just a silly movie for teens.

  • Anonymous

    thats harmony for ya. creating contreversy based off peoples dumb ass ways of thinking. roll a joint then watch it. see what happens

  • anons

    weed

  • Anonymous

    am I crazy for disagreeing with this? I think that’s great directing, actually.. cause then the scene seems more natural rather than robotic which is what an actor/actress should always aim for when shooting.
    I’m no expert but that’s my take on it, anyway.
    ——–
    completely agree! If you read interviews and actors/actresses say that the director let them adlib the scene..they enjoy it! Because the director believes in the actor enough to let them BE the character versus telling them what the character is supposed to be! So i completely agree with you! Most of the kids complaining and even cosmo do NOT get the point of the movie!

    Harmony even said he wants people to leave the movie thinking WTF! its supposed to be crazy and have no point and at the same time have a point! get me?

  • SlimShady

    Harmony is a shit director anyway, there are better indie directors out there.

  • Anonymous

    do not respect any girl who will portray herself in a bikiny her entires time and be explored into making woman look bad and stupid and naive because that what Selena did pick a stupid bad paper

    Learn how to make sense, then give your opinion.

  • Anonymous

    100 bucks that a 40+ year old woman going through menopause wrote this article.

  • Anonymous

    Clearly, the majority of people on ocean up will NOT get this movie! The idea and concept clearly goes over your heads! But at least Harmony did it is way and his way caused controversy just like he knew it would.
    To the 1% outside the mainstream who have complete or even a little understanding of what his aim was, probs to you!

  • Anonymous

    Mar 14, 2013 @ 09:48 am
    Anonymous said:
    100 bucks that a 40+ year old woman going through menopause wrote this article.

    Completely Agree!! Or she’s PMS-ing hard!!
    The movie is NOT that big of a deal! Those who will get it, will get and those who won’t, never will.
    Either way, it’s out there, and already made back its budget before its release so really, it’s only up from here.

    Stress for her!

  • Anonymous

    Mar 14, 2013 @ 09:48 am
    Anonymous said:
    Clearly, the majority of people on ocean up will NOT get this movie! The idea and concept clearly goes over your heads! But at least Harmony did it is way and his way caused controversy just like he knew it would.
    To the 1% outside the mainstream who have complete or even a little understanding of what his aim was, probs to you!
    ———
    Of course is going to cause controversy the movie is poorly directed it seemed it was directed by a teenager the script is pure crap and all he does is let the actor do whatever they want because he doesn’t know what he wants out of a scene which it equals bad directing, is going to cause controversy because he is exploiting two of the dimmest disney girl to eat his story and letting him exploited them for the wrong reason he took Selena to damage her image he wanted the be the one to screw her over and Selena went along too,he showing drugs, robbery,sex,inresponsibity all those things causes controversy how dont know how Selena was stupid enought to fall for his crappy directing

  • Anonymous

    Of course is going to cause controversy the movie is poorly directed it seemed it was directed by a teenager the script is pure crap and all he does is let the actor do whatever they want because he doesn’t know what he wants out of a scene which it equals bad directing, is going to cause controversy because he is exploiting two of the dimmest disney girl to eat his story and letting him exploited them for the wrong reason he took Selena to damage her image he wanted the be the one to screw her over and Selena went along too,he showing drugs, robbery,sex,inresponsibity all those things causes controversy how dont know how Selena was stupid enought to fall for his crappy directing

    So any director who allows their actors to be free or to improvise is a bad director? If that is your logic, then it’s irrelevant because a lot of award winning directors allow that even in Oz the great and powerful(huge success), the director allowed improvisation and Adlibs. I think with movies like this, it’s not supposed to be heavily scripted. A lot of the time, the directors will think of a scene while shooting another,

    I honestly don’t see how this movie is a bad choice for any of the actresses. It was a platform for them to grow in their own way. Whether people agree or not, it’s in their résumé, it’s an experience. I personally applaud them for taking this. Might not be getting the best reviews but they can learn and grow from it.
    Simples

  • Still Anonymous

    I’m not a huge fan of films that you watch and feel “WTF just happened… that was either really deep, or really stupid and a waste of my time.”

    However, I’m curious enough about this to see it eventually. I still haven’t decided whether or not it will be in-theatre, b/c I may be to embarrassed to ask any of my friends to see it with me lol.

    But hey, this article definitely only made me more curious. I also want to see the scene where Selena had no idea what was going on. I’m wondering if her acting has improved at all. I never thought she was a bad actor, I’ve just always thought she was just decent/average, although way better than most Disney stars. It sounds like she could have a Dakota Fanning moment, or not… I’m just interested to find out lol.

  • Anonymous

    So any director who allows their actors to be free or to improvise is a bad director? If that is your logic, then it’s irrelevant because a lot of award winning directors allow that even in Oz the great and powerful(huge success), the director allowed improvisation and Adlibs. I think with movies like this, it’s not supposed to be heavily scripted. A lot of the time, the directors will think of a scene while shooting another,

    I honestly don’t see how this movie is a bad choice for any of the actresses. It was a platform for them to grow in their own way. Whether people agree or not, it’s in their résumé, it’s an experience. I personally applaud them for taking this. Might not be getting the best reviews but they can learn and grow from it.
    Simples
    ————

    A bad movie is not a platform listen Selena this was a poor judgement decision you don’t want people to think ou take any crappy movie because a crappy will give you bad press as an actor they will blame YOU for not bringing in the audience especially since you are advertising it so much and giving it so much promotion this is making you look bad,

  • Anonymous

    So any director who allows their actors to be free or to improvise is a bad director? If that is your logic, then it’s irrelevant because a lot of award winning directors allow that even in Oz the great and powerful(huge success), the director allowed improvisation and Adlibs. I think with movies like this, it’s not supposed to be heavily scripted. A lot of the time, the directors will think of a scene while shooting another,

    I honestly don’t see how this movie is a bad choice for any of the actresses. It was a platform for them to grow in their own way. Whether people agree or not, it’s in their résumé, it’s an experience. I personally applaud them for taking this. Might not be getting the best reviews but they can learn and grow from it.
    Simples
    ————

    A bad movie is not a platform listen Selena this was a poor judgement decision you don’t want people to think ou take any crappy movie because a crappy will give you bad press as an actor they will blame YOU for not bringing in the audience especially since you are advertising it so much and giving it so much promotion this is making you look bad,

    —-

    How is it making her look bad? You clearly do not know what directors are looking for in an actor? Even if it is a bad movie, none of the actresses will be disregarded because of how bad the movie is, its more about how she handled herself in it. A successful movie does not automatically mean good actor. The twilight saga proved that. Whether it is successful or not, the point is they were willing to go there. How you react to her in it, is entirely your opinion. If you choose to, never watch anything any of them choose to be in, in the future. It’s that simple.

  • Anonymous

    Soooo am I the only one who is so intrigued that I can wait to see the movie? Sounds like a hoot.

  • Anonymous

    Larryleaks.tumblr.com

  • BrokenArrow

    How can you say a movie is good or bad if you havent seen it yet?

  • Anonymous

    Mar 14, 2013 @ 10:51 am
    BrokenArrow said:
    How can you say a movie is good or bad if you havent seen it yet?

    Thank you! I was just wondering this! Maybe they can see into the future.

  • Anonymous

    How can a magazine that is in the business of objectifying women and has built it’s empire from that, seriously knock a movie for objectifying women?
    ————
    AGREED! i havent seen this movie but this article coming from fuckin cosmo is so hypocritical and hilarious. cosmo has exploited disney stars like miley and selena, putting them on their covers in skimpy outfits next to headlines about blowjobs and orgasms, so who are they to criticize harmony lmao. the pot is def calling the kettle black.

  • Anonymous

    How can a magazine that is in the business of objectifying women and has built it’s empire from that, seriously knock a movie for objectifying women?
    ————
    AGREED! i havent seen this movie but this article coming from cosmo is so hypocritical and hilarious. cosmo has exploited disney stars like miley and selena, putting them on their covers in skimpy outfits next to headlines about blowjobs so who are they to criticize harmony lmao. the pot is def calling the kettle black.

  • Anonymous

    This was just a bad move for Selena. I have never seen it but Selena really needs to get her name out there for more than just being another crappy singer from Disney who dated Bieber. In this aspect she is like Lindsey with acting and Miley with music… Awesome talent but they don’t know how to handle it. She needs to do movies that will mean something to people. To the average person who would watch Spring Breakers and say what the hell but can watch The Help and understand. She is marketing to the wrong crowd. Movie festival going hipsters who already don’t like her because she is on Disney is a good career move. If I were her I would even worry about singing or small movie projects. She needs something big and meaningful. Example: Lindsey Lohan- Mean Gorks
    Emma Stone- The Help and Easy A ( kinda)
    I’m not a fan but she is talented she just needs better managers.

  • Anonymous

    Are you guys really gonna take cosmo seriously?
    ——
    Yep!!!

  • Anonymous

    *not a good career move.

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  • Anonymous

    LOL I’ve seen the movie cause I live in France and it’s been out like a week ago, and seriously I expected more, I found it boring and unrealist, I’m sorry but how come 2 stupid girls in bikinis can shoot and killed several drug deaker without even getting shot! the movie would have been better if they had actually died but well, I can see why they called it crappy honestly + it’s a lot of swearing, nudity, sex drugs ect for nothing, at least guys would be happy seeing boobs and ass all over.. And don’t worry for Selena she’s only here the first 30min of the film

  • Anonymous

    To the average person who would watch Spring Breakers and say what the hell but can watch The Help and understand. She is marketing to the wrong crowd———

    but the movie is an indie film. Its not supposed to be ‘for everyone’ its not supposed to be mainstream. Its a movie that was supposed to be seen by little people and the media blew it up!

  • Anonymous

    Why are any of you paying attention to someone else’s OPINION of a movie? That is the dumbest thing I have ever seen. Why don’t you sheep go see the movie for yourself and form your own opinion of something for a change? WHOAAA what a concept.

    Also, commenting on the “Korine is a bad director because he didn’t tell his actors what he wanted from them” thing – A) read the interviews with him and hear his side of the story and B) as an actor talking from experience, sometimes it is better to just be thrown into a scene and have that first most honest reaction be the take chosen for the final cut.

  • Anonymous

    & all you people sitting here praising cosmo are the same people who would say their sources were unreliable IF they had given a good review! So stfu

  • Anonymous

    This movie looks boring and predictable. It’s so funny how Selena and Vanessa think this is gonna help them grow as an actress just because it’s out of their element, their Disney element. It doesn’t have to be a movie about sex, drugs, violence, and crime for it to be challenging and out of your element. I just think Selena made a bad decision deciding to do this movie. If she wanted something different than Disney and to break out but still be respected as an actress she could’ve done something more mature with a challenging script and character than this. These girls think this movie will make people respect them more and appreciate their “talent” (Vanessa has 0 talent though) as an actor but it just makes people dislike them more because they’re trying too hard. It just looks like a stupid teen movie, not even an indie movie that has some depth to it. Harmony Korine, you don’t know what you’re doing.

  • Anonymous

    Can they all just look to Jennifer Lawrence and reevaluate their movie decisions and their skills? Clearly, they still need some acting help ’cause all they can land is this crap and call it mature and different and a “stepping stone for their acting careers” …please.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t need to listen to reviews. I made up my mind that I’m not gonna see this trash movie. I’m sure there’s better movies out there to see.

  • viciousmagic

    These girls think this movie will make people respect them more and appreciate their “talent” (Vanessa has 0 talent though).
    ——-
    That’s kind of true. Seriously, how come such a “good director” as everyone is saying would ever hire Vanessa Hudgens to do his movie? OMG her movies lately are crap and I’m not a hater or anything, but that’s the truth. I just think this movie is over-r. Honestly, it’s just one more movie in the Hollywood world.

  • Anonymous

    Are you guys really gonna take cosmo seriously?

  • Anonymous

    Lmfao.

  • Anonymous

    ouch! that hurts

  • Anonymous

    I actually saw the movie yesterday cause I live in France and it has been out for a week now and it’s not that bad. Obviously I don’t think it’s not gonna be a HUGE success but I had a good time watching it. And it’s not that scandalous, in France you can go see it if you’re 12 so it’s not as bad as the article says it is

  • Jinxx.

    I went from being really curious to watch the movie to feeling really embarrassed that I ever wanted to.
    Damn you, Cosmo writer. now I’m gonna feel like crap whenever I do watch the movie lol.

  • Anonymous

    Told you this was a bad move for Selena this was not the right scrip how you are going to grow when you start to pick crappy movies? First the director seems like he is stock in his teenage years, and acts like a kid and his film are not run by him he is more like do what you want and let’s see what comes up, that’s bad directing, it seemed more to me he wanted to exploit disney girls and used them and Selena and her mom were so dumb and stupid they felt for it

  • SlimShady

    Critically acclaimed? Loling. But anyway, I actually wanna watch this.

  • Anonymous

    Comments that I read on the site:

    “Cosmo girls” aren’t crazy druggy art house film fans.

    “you missed the point completely! the movie is a satire, the movie is about empty culture, is about what happens and where decisions made in the heat of the moment can take you, in a way its empowering but that’s on the way of you being able to take your decisions, turn it bad to right, but this movie isn’t literally as you see, is a satire that most critics fortunately get!”

    ——-

    I couldnt agree more! Someone who write for Cosmo isnt exactly well equipped to make a review on a movie like this! The fact that the point of this movie goes over their head [and many other people] just makes me laugh!

  • Anonymous

    I do not respect any girl who will portray herself in a bikiny her entires time and be explored into making woman look bad and stupid and naive because that what Selena did pick a stupid bad paper

  • Anonymous

    I feel opposite to it. Now I really want to see it! See if she was PMS-ing when she was watching it and

  • anons

    ok

  • Anonymous

    How can a magazine that is in the business of objectifying women and has built it’s empire from that, seriously knock a movie for objectifying women? It seems the reviewer was entering the movie with preconceived ideas and just let them guide her instead of the movie guiding her. I saw it and it was amazing.

  • Anonymous

    This movie isnt meant to be a funny party movie for teenagers. Its meant to be dark and gritty just like every other movie by this director. Its like no ones even considering “the virgin suicides” or “lost in translation” the movies Korines FAMOUS for. I haven’t seen this movie before but I’ve seen films like it and you really have to have a certain taste to enjoy it. I really doubt some writer for Cosmo enjoys any film like this. Just watch it for yourself before you judge is all I’m saying

  • Anonymous

    So every stupid fan of Selena are defending the movie eventhough they haven’t seen it yet. lol In case you guys didn’t know this is not the only review that trash the movie.

  • Anonymous

    Lool I have seen everything but someone defending it. The most is explanation for why the movie is, the way it is. And those people have actually seen it. So..

  • Anonymous

    lol why is ashley clapping like a frog ?

  • Anonymous

    I think it looks mediocre. I do agree that it was a weird direction for Selena. It’s almost like trying too hard to be a mature actor

  • Anonymous

    This movie looks fucking stupid. Who takes Vanessa Hudgens serious as an actress, anyways? Not trying to be a dick, but really… And I hate how critics and so many people confuse trashy for dark or gritty. There’s a HUGE difference. This just looks like trash.

  • Anonymous

    Did the director not tell her how to toke??

  • Anonymous