Via Blind Gossip: There are lots of young celebrities who could use a good slap upside the head before they wind up in the headlines for the wrong reasons. Let’s start with these five: The first is a young female singer we’ll call HalfWit. She garners huge amounts of publicity about her fake sobriety and about being a positive role model for young girls.
What a liar. We know that she was blowing piles of snow up her nose last week. Yes, she calls it ‘snow’. Because that just makes it so much cuter! The second is a young male singer we’ll call Jokester. His pretty girlfriend is a heroin add*ct who encourages him to do it too because it’s ‘natural’. She is out on tour with him right now and even brought some balloons for him. How thoughtful.
The third is a young male singer we’ll call Baby. He starts smoking week first thing in the morning, does c*caine, drinks every day, and mixes up a tasty purple beverage when he wants to get really wasted. He hasn’t had a sober day in over a year now. He is so reckless that he may go in a car accident instead of an OD.
The fourth is an under-30 female singer we’ll call Really F*ckedUp. She is so f*cked up all day, every day that she can’t fulfill even the most basic of work commitments. All of those who think that you can’t get add*cted to weed are just naïve. She’s going to get sued pretty soon for not fulfilling her contract. We wonder if she’ll get a tattoo to commemorate that.
The fifth is a sweet young female singer we’ll call Princess. She started doing blow fairly recently, but now it’s a daily thing. Getting back together with her ex and hanging out with his unsavory posse of juvenile delinquents and add*cts certainly isn’t really helping the situation.