Amanda Bynes Cancer Patient Apology

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Vanity Fair columnist Amanda Bynes revealed: Oh my God, let me just be the first to say: I can completely see how offense was taken. I truly apologize for the miscommunication and any and all resulting discomfort or anger. I’m not a wretched person with zero sense of perspective or respect for fellow human beings;

Rather, the actual explanation of my statement is something far more banal. No, Arendtites, not ‘banal’ as in ‘the banality of evil’ -banal as in, this was a very stupid grammatical error. You’ll see the offending tweet below. What I intended to say was ‘not having hair makes me feel like a cancer: patient.’

That is, waiting for my hair to grow has made me a more patient person, a trait, in the astrological community, typically associated with those born under the Cancer sign. I’m actually an Aries (traditional traits: determinedness, ambitiousness, impulsiveness, and, I can now say, inexcusably poor grasp of punctuation.)

Not having your forgiveness makes me feel like I should have Aids. Christ, I’ve done it again. I meant: not having your forgiveness makes me feel like I should have aides, lower-case and with an ‘e.’ Aides because I’m clearly in something of a public-relations quagmire. Please accept my second apology.

  • Cancer is Ugly & has weird eyes

    Amanda is nuts. By that, what I mean to say is she is not literally resembling a nut, such as a cashew or walnut. And by all means, I do not mean that she resembles a nut in terms comparing her appearance to a testicle. What I mean by calling her nuts is that she is coo coo for Coco Puffs and a few bricks short of a full load. In more colloquially simplified terms, she is Cray Cray.

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  • Anonymous

    HAHAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ!!?
    this has “bullshit lawyer talk” written all over it.

    Also, love that! /\ /\
    Made my day.

  • Anonymous

    That should seriously be on her Wikipedia!

  • Anonymous

    Dear god what is wrong with her

  • Anonymous

    what the actual fuck…

  • Anonymous

    Well. a girl just died of cancer today. So i hope she feels pretty bad. Does she have no tact?

  • Anonymous

    i think i actually hate her. she’s incredibly insensitive and out of line.

  • Anonymous

    i think i actually hate her. she’s incredibly insensitive and out of line.

  • Anonymous

    What a heartless bitch

  • Anonymous

    Lmfao! Nice try Amanda..

  • Anonymous

    incredibly in sensitive. Dont know why i thought it would actually be a real apology. she’s sick and need help.

  • Anonymous

    can someone please remove this sorry excuse of a human being from social media already…

  • Anonymous

    Wait, what?!?

  • Anonymous

    is she forreal??!

    after reading the last paragraph i am lost of words

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  • Anonymous

    Bullshit lmao.