Miley’s Grammar Bashed + Pilates Details


Pilates instructor Mari Windsor on Miley Cyrus to People: ‘I gave her those legs. She’s always going to have those long gorgeous legs. We just toned and firmed in all the right places.’ After Miley got sick of the paparazzi following her to her daily workouts, she installed a studio in her own home, where Winsor pays house calls:’ She wants to be healthy, she wants to have good abs. It always makes her feel better and clearer when she works out.

When we work out we don’t just do a couple of moves. Sidekick series on the Cadillac for legs and butt, then plenty of ab work. It’s at least a half an hour of working out.. You have to learn how to not just tighten up your tummy but actually pull your tummy in to your lower back as much as you can.

Just doing 40 crunches a day isn’t gonna do it for you.’ On Twerking: ‘Doesn’t every woman like to shake their booty a little bit? C’mon! It feels good to shake that s–t loose a little bit.

Miley bashed Jewish people to Hunger TV: ‘It’s always weird when things are targeted for young people, yet they’re driven by people that are like 40 years too old. It can’t be like this 70-year-old Jewish man that doesn’t leave his desk all day, telling me what the clubs want to hear. At first, on paper, that video sounded insane.

No one understood it, and I’m just like, ‘Let me film it and then, if it doesn’t work out, you never have to trust me again, but if it works out you have to let me drive this ship. At the end of the day, I want people to buy my records. The more that they’re wondering what the hell is she doing, the more they’re going to want to listen to my record.’

Sujan Stevens’ critique of Miley’s grammer: Dear Miley. I can’t stop listening to #GetItRight (great song, great message, great body), but maybe you need a quick grammar lesson. One particular line causes concern: ‘I been laying in this bed all night long.’ Miley, technically speaking, you’ve been LYING, not LAYING, an irregular verb form that should only be used when there’s an object, i.e. ‘I been laying my tired booty on this bed all night long.’ Whatever.

I’m not the best lyricist, but you know what I mean. #Get It Right The Next Time. But don’t worry, even Faulkner messed it up. We all make mistakes, and surely this isn’t your worst misdemeanor. But also, Miley, did you know the tense here is also totally wrong. Surely you’ve heard of Present Perfect Continuous Tense (I HAVE BEEN LYING in this bed all night long [hopefully getting some beauty sleep?]).

It’s a weird, equivocal, almost purgatorial tense, not quite present, not quite past, not quite here, not quite there. Somewhere in between. I feel that way all the time. It kind of sucks. But I have a feeling your ‘present perfect continuous’ involves a lot more excitement than mine. Anyway, doesn’t that also sum up your career right now? Present. Perfect. Continuous. And Tense. Intense? Girl, you work it like Mike Tyson. Miley, I love you because you’re the Queen, grammatically and anatomically speaking. And you’re the hottest cake in the pan. Don’t ever grow old. Live brightly before your fire fades into total darkness. XXOO Sufjan

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